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"Dee dee deedle deedle dum dee god *damn* it!"
Howard County Fair, MD - August 5, 2007

"This is not the glamorous life I expected when I ran away to join the carnival. I thought there'd be more exotic animals, and dancing girls, and fun sideshow people. You know, like the bearded lady. I wonder if I'd hook up with a bearded lady? I guess it depends on how good a body she has. I mean, if she's got a really rockin' body, I could get past a little facial hair. Especially if she kept it trimmed. Though I guess she wouldn't be as much of a draw... yeah, she'd probably let that beard grow like, really long. God, the music from that game stand over there is gonna be stuck in my head for freakin' ever. Nope... still no one. Man, I thought I'd be learnin' how to eat fire and swallow swords and stuff. Or at least how to juggle. I should do that. Can't be too hard, not like I'm doing anything else right now. I wonder if they'd mind? I wonder if I can slip away and get some funnel cake. Hey, there's a half a hot dog over there... nah. Not that desperate yet. Sigh... maybe I should run away and join an insurance company. Or maybe just a company with health insurance and that obeys, like, laws and stuff."
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